Monday, January 25, 2010

A merry Moose mess.

It took me 20 minutes to call in our dog, Moose, this morning. 20 minutes! He never goes far, and is usually in before Mark leaves for work, but not today.
I called and called, and called. Finally he came bounding in the house from the front porch. Tail wagging, smiling, and soaked from the rain.
Then I noticed it, we all noticed it. How could you not?
It was putrid, vile. The most wretched stench I've ever come across.
What was it?
Who knows, we may never know, but oh the fun it was about to begin.
First, we have no bath tub. We haven't for about 2.5 years now. The upstairs bathroom needed a new floor, which turned into new beams, which means, anyway...we have no bathtub.
So, naturally, I put him in the stand up shower downstairs. Ha! Have you ever tried to put a 95 lb claustrophobic dog in a stand up shower. 
Don't. It's not worth it.
I got three buckets of water on him, and some soap before he figured out he could open the door while I was in the kitchen refilling the bucket, and shake. And boy, did he shake. All over the floor, walls, ceiling, clothes, everywhere! The blue bathroom was literally dripping with this brown, gelatinous, vile smelling substance, that came from our fluffy little friend.
Why do these things happen when there is no time for them? And how come Mark is, conveniently, not home? Hm....
So I decide, I've done ok. I'll dry him off and see how it goes.
So he shakes, and he shimmies, and I notice there's still soap bubbles on his back. But at this point, both him and I know he's not going back in there.
I let him out of the bathroom, into the kitchen, where I'm hoping he'll smell better. But nope! Still awful!
The stench in the bathroom is so bad, I Lysol everything in reach, and pray for the best. 10 minutes later, I go back in. Ugh! Still rancid. What is that?
The collar, of course! It was still in the shower. I grab that out, and after three very close calls with hurling, decide it's time to toss it. Moose is getting a new collar today.
And he still stinks. Now I start calling...the Laundromutt, closed on Monday. (Yes, there really is a laundromutt :) I get "nope we're booked" more times then I want to count. Finally success! Petco, here we come! I have 50 minutes to get myself bathed, Jared dressed, and the, still very stinky, and now collarless dog, into the car for the 20 minute drive to Petco. 
9:35, doing good. We're off. 
Holy stinky dog! We drove 60mph in 30 degree weather and the driving rain with the windows down. Did I say he stunk?
9:58 we arrive, cold, and safely at the store. 
Jared, Moose and I walk in and are greeted with a cheerful, "Hi, this must be Moose." She then makes the mistake of bending over to his face to greet him. 
She gags. LOL! I warned her, it's that bad.
This is getting long, so lets conclude quickly.
She takes him back, and as soon as the door closes and he realizes he's not in Kansas anymore, the howling and barking ensues. 2.5 hours later when we came back to pick him up...we heard the same noises as when we left. Poor Moose.

Thankfully, our fluffy bunny Moose is back. Clean, soft and rain forest fresh. Ahhhhh....

We shall see what tomorrow morning brings :)

No comments: